Have you ever had someone do or say something to you that made you so angry?
Something that you thought was irresponsible, inconsiderate, unnecessary or just mean?
I think everybody will have an experience in their life that they can link this with. What most people do next is focus on that anger and frustration. And because what they focus on becomes their reality, they end up creating a very negative idea of the other person keeping them from looking at the situation from a higher point of view.
Often they’ll start asking rhetorical questions, like,
‘Why would he do that?!’
‘What was she thinking?!’
They ask these questions but they don’t answer them. If you can relate to this as I sometimes can, try answering those questions.
Because people do the best with what they know at that specific time.
If they knew better, they’d do better.
The trick is to put our own negative emotions to the side for a minute and look at the situation through someone else’s perspective and to understand why they did what they did. There might very well be an understandable explanation. There is always a reason for people’s actions.
What’s the point in wasting all of our energy in anger, frustration or even sadness?
How does that benefit us? Does it make us happy?
Harry Singha taught me that “Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Instead, we should use our energy to find a solution. Go and talk to that person. Try to not let ourselves get carried away by our negative emotions and calmly explain to them how we felt and that we want to understand their perspective as well.
My mum inspired me one morning by saying,
“Everyone sees the world through their own experiences. If you look at it differently, it is different.”
It’s like looking through a different pair of sunglasses. Just try not to pick the ones with dirt and scratches on the glass.
What I want to share with you is this:
Focus on people that empower you. Then you can be an empowerment to someone else, because what you focus on becomes your reality.